So some of you might be wondering why I am asking this…. Well, the word “weird” and “loser” are the words that I’ve often heard over and over again from some of my friends and even family members for reading a lot self-help books and making the effort to improve. I have gone through this and endure this kind of criticism for years in my life.
There are many people who have this stereotype against productivity/self improvement. They think that if you are not born with the skill or talent, and if you need to study and read books is that you are either a.) Don’t have a social life b.) Have a deep emotional /psychotic problem that you need to vent out that’s why you read this crap of self improvement books or c.) You just have nothing better to do. Honestly, I haven’t heard anything more absurd. Sadly, the people who say this often end up needing the most self improvement.
When you make the decision to improve at something, and start putting in the effort and work to get better, you will most likely endure a lot of criticisms or even degrading insults from others attempting to sabotage your desire to improve.
Let me share an experience with you. Well unfortunately, I was born fatherless, my dad abandoned us and my mother was forced to work abroad and left us (my brothers and I) to my aunt’s house to take care of us for 4 years. My aunt has 2 daughters and we are all going on the same private school and same grade level.
Then One day, our school held a quiz competition and the school will carefully pick students who will represent the school and compete for the regional quiz bee. Well one my cousins and I were one of the students who were chosen. This aunt of mine always tries to boast about her daughter and she was overly confident that her daughter was the smart one, but then I on the other hand have always been the shy and meek type of girl (which I admit, until now I still am sometimes). I was even labeled the “Pushover”. But I don’t really care much, although it hurts at a very young age to hear those words coming from my own aunt. Sometimes, I even thought she has a “mental disorder” (sorry), coz she seems to be fanatic by her own talented/pretty daughter, (it’s a little funny though). But still, I continued to study hard for the coming regional school quiz bee competition. I was thinking, alright maybe I wasn’t born with the talent but I can work hard for this.
Anyway fast forward, I did got the first place of that regional overall quiz bee competition. Although sadly, I have no parents by my side, but still I felt happy and realized that it’s not really about having the “skill’ but rather having the passion to improve regardless of the criticisms you hear from other people.
But that was years ago, now my aunt and I have a good relationship, as well as with my cousin. So it’s all good and refreshing. Anyway going back to my point…
None of us are a master at something from the day we are born. Some of us have natural or inborn talent, but we all make mistakes and we all need to improve ourselves to some extent to get better in life. You cannot look at someone who is highly successful and say “Aww, he was born with that talent”. Personally, I've observed that the successful people often don’t have much inborn talent, but they have a passion and desire to succeed at what they do regardless of anything, and they read every book they can get their hands on to be productive.
One of the important things about self-improvement is to get a well-defined sense of identity. To realized that you make life-defining choices and stand by your decisions. This means you can evaluate someone’s comment for logical arguments against your decision and see if you are right, and it means that you do not let other people influence you to an enormous degree. But rather it creates a bridge of understanding to others and to yourself.
I am far from perfect and don’t claim to have much wisdom. My posts are mostly about my experiences and observations about life, and I hope that you enjoy them and even learn from them.
It has taken me time to discover what I love doing, but with every day I am learning more and more…
Now I thought, “Hmm…Maybe I’m not really weird after all. Maybe I just wanted to make a difference”.
If you have comments, critique, suggestions.
I would love to hear from you!
Oh yeah, I’d like to also share this link with you, that I’ve been reading lately for the past few weeks. Just reading short random experiences from people, it’s cool and it’s inspiring. Check it out!! http://makesmethink.com/
There are many people who have this stereotype against productivity/self improvement. They think that if you are not born with the skill or talent, and if you need to study and read books is that you are either a.) Don’t have a social life b.) Have a deep emotional /psychotic problem that you need to vent out that’s why you read this crap of self improvement books or c.) You just have nothing better to do. Honestly, I haven’t heard anything more absurd. Sadly, the people who say this often end up needing the most self improvement.
When you make the decision to improve at something, and start putting in the effort and work to get better, you will most likely endure a lot of criticisms or even degrading insults from others attempting to sabotage your desire to improve.
Let me share an experience with you. Well unfortunately, I was born fatherless, my dad abandoned us and my mother was forced to work abroad and left us (my brothers and I) to my aunt’s house to take care of us for 4 years. My aunt has 2 daughters and we are all going on the same private school and same grade level.
Then One day, our school held a quiz competition and the school will carefully pick students who will represent the school and compete for the regional quiz bee. Well one my cousins and I were one of the students who were chosen. This aunt of mine always tries to boast about her daughter and she was overly confident that her daughter was the smart one, but then I on the other hand have always been the shy and meek type of girl (which I admit, until now I still am sometimes). I was even labeled the “Pushover”. But I don’t really care much, although it hurts at a very young age to hear those words coming from my own aunt. Sometimes, I even thought she has a “mental disorder” (sorry), coz she seems to be fanatic by her own talented/pretty daughter, (it’s a little funny though). But still, I continued to study hard for the coming regional school quiz bee competition. I was thinking, alright maybe I wasn’t born with the talent but I can work hard for this.
Anyway fast forward, I did got the first place of that regional overall quiz bee competition. Although sadly, I have no parents by my side, but still I felt happy and realized that it’s not really about having the “skill’ but rather having the passion to improve regardless of the criticisms you hear from other people.
But that was years ago, now my aunt and I have a good relationship, as well as with my cousin. So it’s all good and refreshing. Anyway going back to my point…
None of us are a master at something from the day we are born. Some of us have natural or inborn talent, but we all make mistakes and we all need to improve ourselves to some extent to get better in life. You cannot look at someone who is highly successful and say “Aww, he was born with that talent”. Personally, I've observed that the successful people often don’t have much inborn talent, but they have a passion and desire to succeed at what they do regardless of anything, and they read every book they can get their hands on to be productive.
One of the important things about self-improvement is to get a well-defined sense of identity. To realized that you make life-defining choices and stand by your decisions. This means you can evaluate someone’s comment for logical arguments against your decision and see if you are right, and it means that you do not let other people influence you to an enormous degree. But rather it creates a bridge of understanding to others and to yourself.
I am far from perfect and don’t claim to have much wisdom. My posts are mostly about my experiences and observations about life, and I hope that you enjoy them and even learn from them.
It has taken me time to discover what I love doing, but with every day I am learning more and more…
Now I thought, “Hmm…Maybe I’m not really weird after all. Maybe I just wanted to make a difference”.
If you have comments, critique, suggestions.
I would love to hear from you!
Oh yeah, I’d like to also share this link with you, that I’ve been reading lately for the past few weeks. Just reading short random experiences from people, it’s cool and it’s inspiring. Check it out!! http://makesmethink.com/
You are certainly not weird. There is nothing wrong with wanting to improve ourselvs. No body is perfect and we could all use some help. I think you handled your childhood very well from what I see. It must have been very hard to not have had your parents around. I like what you are doing and hope that you get to where you want to be.
ReplyDeleteMy wife is an a-typical artist in that she doesn't believe people are born with artistic talent; rather, she feels that artistic talent can be learned through imitation, study, theory, and practice (and practice and practice). I think her feelings about art relate to your own feelings on the possibility of self-improvement.
ReplyDelete