“Hello and Goodbye"...

I hate to say this.

But Life truly is a series of “Hellos and Goodbyes”...

As much as I want to, the time has finally come to an end. I would have to accept the truth that I’m now signing off from writing in my weekly nurtured blog “Rid me of myself”.

Thank you so much to everyone who joined me in my spiritual journey of awareness and detachment. This short period of conscious effort and understanding helped me to express myself, bare my soul and deepest thoughts. Thank you for spending your free time to read my posts, especially to some people whom I noticed not only consistently reading but giving comments, feedback and criticisms.

I am very open to your constructive feedback and I have also learned a lot from those of you who shared their personal experiences through the little box below, it is short, but sweet. So it is greatly appreciated. Our simple exchange of ideas challenged me and helped me grow personally.

So since this will be my last blog post, I would not leave you with just pure drama.lol

But rather, I’d you to ask you something to think about….

“How Do you want to be remembered?”

I’m pretty sure you are familiar with a question similar to this: “What legacy are you going to leave behind?” I have noticed, that there are a lot of people who are concerned about leaving a legacy. But what we don’t realize however is that most of us are soon forgotten. Once we pass on, life simply goes on...

I remember the quotation, I’ve read before which I will never forget:

They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel. - Carl W. Buechner

In this Life, It’s the simple and small things that mean a lot to other people. Let’s face it, not all of us were brought here to do something so grand that millions of people will remember us, rather than the people we do meet each and every day are touched by us in how we word things, our feelings and how we go about living our lives. To that one person who may be feeling down or out, your words could make them feel “grand”….it’s like a domino effect…

One of the small things I do is send a birthday card to special people, not just family. Often times, they will call to say that that one little gesture lifted them up and made them happy. I want to leave this earth knowing I made people happy and that I did make a difference in at least a few people’s lives…….

To live our lives by example is the best measure of showing others that we can have peace and we can obtain goals on a day by day basis. To me, the important things is to live in the here and now and make the most of it. Focus on your goals, one day at a time. And be kind to yourself even if you fall short. So what? After all,

Tomorrow is another day, and there are bound to be new opportunities.

Go with the flow without worries or regrets. Time and age are relative anyway. Labels are illusions to be lost.Thus, the important thing is to keep the spirit alive and well and kicking. Every moment you live can be a glorious one, no matter your age or level of income, etc. Some of our most revered figures have lived less than stellar lives.

We know of very attractive people like Elvis Presley, Marilyn Monroe, John Lennon and Michael Jackson and so many others who passed away “under mysterious circumstances.”
Money and fame make the world go round, but the happiest people in the world live in obscure and remote places.

The quality of how you are remembered is the direct effect on what you do during your life and how you impact the people you deal with. If your impact is negative, sad as it seems, I believe you will be remembered that way. If your impact is positive, again I believe you will be remembered that way.

This "Goodbye" is not the end of my journey towards self improvement and productivity. This is just the start of a new adventure. and what is it?

Well i dont know, that is what im going to findout on my own...Im going to let go of the rope for now, and let the winds take me wherever my destination is.

Remember that:

The road of life twists and turns and no two directions are ever the same. Yet our lessons come from the journey, not the destination.”

-Don Williams Jr

Cheers to your life. Keep on smiling!

Till Then, Im now signing Off..Peace!:)

Oops... I Might Be Wrong!

Have you ever had the experience in your life wherein you found yourself getting upset over someone else’s decisions?

Well, Honestly I do-Many Times. The reason I would get upset is because the person making the decision was not making the decision that I would have made (which I think is right),or I get annoyed and pissed off when they don’t listen to what I have to say.

When a person would not listen to my “common sense” I get myself worked up over the other person’s lack of desire to listen to what I had to offer. I was convinced that my life experiences were valuable and should be listened to because I could save another person whenever down the road, I foresaw hardship, and hurtful situations that they might face.

I thought I was being selfless. But when I come to think of it, I realize that I was so selfish.

Although with all honesty i can say that in some way i' m simply looking for the person's best interest. However on the other side, i know that im just "minding other person’s business" because I like the feeling of being in control, and enjoyed being right.

One interesting to remember though, is that almost all the time in these circumstances the other person’s decision does not have anything to do with me. In other words, their choices were simply NONE OF MY BUSINESS.

We often make mistakes when we are wrong, but the greatest mistakes are made when we are sure that we are right.

It is sad, but true, that so many relationships, friendships and families are teared apart due to one person assuming that they are right. It is important to know that we don’t know what the experience is like for another person unless we ask them and put ourselves into their shoes. It is dangerous for us to assume that everyone will have the same experience, Because everybody has a story to tell.

See, what is true for one is not always true for another.

Often times we create a barrier in our relationships by not taking the time to appreciate the experience of others. People will ignore our advices and go for their chosen direction. But what we have to realize is that They need to learn the lessons themselves, that there are times we find out that going against our advices was the best decision they could ever made.

I have experienced both situations in my life. I chose not to listen and made the decision that I want, and learned the lesson that they have warned me of. Yet, I have also gone against their advices, that turned out to be a very positive thing for me.

Let’s face it, we all have life experiences from which we have learned some very valuable lessons and it pains us to see others make the same mistakes that we did. We want to help people in our life avoid certain pitfalls. We must allow the other person to make their decision even if it goes against what we believe is best for them.

The key is that once we share our wisdom we must let it be...Even if it goes directly against our lesson and the advices we have given. We must simply let go. We may offer to share the lessons of our journey in order to help pave a smoother path for others. When presented in a way that comes across as loving and non-judgmental this can be very valuable to everyone involved.

"No matter how clearly we believe we see the situation, no matter how right we believe we are, we never know – we might be wrong".

SPRING is in the Air~Embracing the Seasons of Life....

Spring is the season in our life of new growth. It is the period of our lives where we clear out the old to make way for the new. It is a time where we create new beginnings for ourselves and our lives.

Hey! I wish you guys are all having an awesome spring break!!!Spring is such a beautiful season, it’s a season of newness and a refreshing start. We can finally keep all the old and thick coats of Winter (specially the previous one we had when its 30 degrees in florida.lol) and welcome the warmth, revitalizing and newness of Spring. Many of us get an extra spring in our step and a bigger smile on our face as the colorful and aromatic flower blooms, the bird sings and the earth warms in climate.

With our hopes and changing moods elevated by the promise of spring and all that it brings to us, this is a great time to understand and embrace the changes that we want to make in our life.
There is a saying that all good things come to an end, derived from the saying that all things must come to an end.

It is true. As I’ve said in my previous blog, The only constant in life is change. We are always in the course and journey of endless change. We go through the different phases in our lives, just like the four seasons: Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall.

Although Im not going to emphasize much about the details, but more about the fact that every one of us goes through a numerous amount of different phases in their lives. The end of each phase and the beginning of the next one is usually a big change, and sometimes one that is very difficult to deal with, or hard to just let go.

Every aspect in our lives has a start and it has a finish. Each section that passes is one that will never come back. We will be just wasting our time and effort thinking of the things we cannot change. What we should do is to accept the things that is out of our control, embrace our present situation, and welcome the possibility of an amazing adventure ahead.

It all begins within us! Each of us have the ability to make a difference and make this world a better place. It is our choice to create an atmosphere of harmony, peace and love with our thoughts and actions.

Where ever you are, I encourage you to feel free today, step outside and be thankful that the sun is shining and close your eyes, feel the warmth, listen to the birds singing, reflect in the joy of the season, use your gift of senses and appreciate the beauty of the nature around you. Feel the love and peace that is within you and send your love and peace out to the whole world.

Embrace this season of change!

(The following is an inspirational poem from: http://www.janiep.com/seasons.html)

The changing seasons often remind me of life.

In spring we see a reawakening. Trees that were dormant now burst forthwith vigorous new growth. They cover their branches withleaves to shelter us from the summer sun. Birds flit aboutgathering twigs and strings to build nests for their new families. Flowers proudly display their colors in gloriousarray.

The summer sun brings warmth to body and soul, but it mayalso bring searing heat that parched the heart of the earth. The fury of a summer storm may cause devastation on one hand but relief from a drought on the other.

Autumn dresses herself in her finest colors as if reluctant to let go of life before the cold of winter begins. She lingers long enough for the migratory birds to begin their journey south,and for hibernating animals to find a place to spend the winter.

Then winter spreads her snowy blanket. But the earth is nottotally devoid of color. The firs, pines, holly, and ivy remind us that not all is dead.

A life that can endure the storms, wait patiently for the winter to pass, and enjoy the beauty and goodness of life, is truly blessed.I hope that something in these pages will bring comfort, peace,or encouragement to someone. I've known times of sorrow and heartache, as each of us has in various ways. But I've also known times of joy and thankfulness.

"With Pain and Suffering:Comes Healing"

"To Heal from the Inside Out is the key". -Wynonna Judd

This morning as I was preparing my breakfast. I was slicing some bread, I accidentally slipped and cut my finger with the bread knife. I quickly ran it with the tap water, cleaned the cut and placed a band aid on it and then continued getting the food ready for breakfast.

I didn’t even give the cut another look and guess what? the cut began to heal. I did not have to do anything, but my immune system took over right away with repairing my wound and I know that in a few days that cut will be completely healed and I probably won’t even remember that it happened.

That is how our body works, we have an immune system which is our natural capability to repair and heal us when we have any wounds or illness. I could choose to be curious of the cut, by reopening and messing with it which would interrupt my inborn ability to heal and even cause serious infections and totally regret it. I could choose to keep WORRYING about it.

So some of you might be giving some side comments already. I know, this is totally insane right? Why would I keep exposing my wound where it could not heal? Why would I create suffering for myself?

Although most people would never attempt to intentionally create a situation where they would suffer or cause more damage to themselves. One would think, however we do create suffering in our mind with our thoughts. We torture ourselves by overthinking and worrying about it. And many people do it as a normal course of their day.

In this life alot of shit happens.(Sorry) And mostly, we find out that things don’t always go the way we want it to be, even if we’ve carefully planned it. Alot of times, we feel so unworthy, people lose their job, we never had enough money to buy something that we really wanted (unless you’re a celebrity or whatever), the people we love tells us that they want to break up after a long term relationship or found somebody else, we have been diagnosed and discovered that we have cancer or any disease that will greatly affect our lives and our family. We do our best in school, yet we always end up like a failure.

These only are some hurtful and painful events that happen in our life that causes EMOTIONAL WOUNDS. But I’d say, Emotional wounds needs healing too, just like our physical wounds EXCEPT the course of healing our emotional wounds is all under our CONSCIOUS LEVEL. Its based up to us and what we say to ourselves when so many bad things happen. And how we COPE with Life’s inevitable problems.

What will we choose: To continually suffer or choose to heal? Will we take that leap of faith and the first step to coping with life’s circumstances or not. Will keep re-opening the wound to the point where it can’t heal and get infected? Will we be proud of our suffering, cry and ask for help yet deny to help ourselves? Will we get to a point where we are defined by our suffering?

The world is full of suffering; it is also full of overcoming it.- Helen Keller:

We all experience pain and getting hurt, and I believe that we will all be vulnerable to it. I don’t know anyone who never been hurt emotionally or not known some form of emotional pain heal.

The difference though is how we cope from within ourselves about the wounds that’s we are going to through.

I ask you today to reflect on whatever suffering that you may be going through right now and to Ask yourself how you could change the way you can stop worrying, and help yourself create the healing of your wounds and to eliminate the suffering.

You have the gift to heal yourself. Healing is a process. There are no magic bullets or potions which will heal your wounds at this very moment.

Its all about TIME. The good thing however, is that we can make a decision to end the suffering and begin the healing by changing your inner perspectives in life.

Stop worrying and Start Healing.

“Worrying is the same thing as banging your head against the wall. It only feels good when you stop” -John Powers

Resiliency Model: A New Way to Save the Lives of Young People

I believe that the myriad of problems facing the youth today can come from different perspectives. For starters there is the issue of drugs that are becoming more and more readily available to young people. Children are getting involved in drugs (illegal) as young as middle school. The rate of teenage pregnancies, drunk driving, joining gangs, is no doubt-enormously high. Oh, Let's not forget the irresponsible parents doing drugs in front of their children pretending that it's no big deal.

To be part of the "in crowd" is a highly coveted social position for today's youth. It is a position that many of them would give up their morals and even their health for.

These "Societal problems of youth" have been a long time concern not only of our criminal justice system but also among several bodies of research from different fields.

As a psychologist major i've decided to focused on what my field is doing in action to help solve the problems of the Young Generation.

The long standing question for psychologist is to try to figure out what was wrong with their patients, and try to help people deal with their problems. About 10 years ago, things began to shift. Instead of asking the question: What DAMAGES people? Some psychologist focused on what makes people STRONG.

Most of the studies have been done on young people. And most of this shows that 1/3 of the kids who lived under difficult circumstance sexual abuse, alcoholic parents’ poverty and that kind of thing, a full third of these kids do fine. They did NOT get caught up with crime or drug, they don’t become pregnant in their teens, and they lived responsible lives and become responsible The resiliency literature provides counselors with a more effadults.

The question is WHY? What factors either internal or external worked for this teens? and most importantly could researchers identify these factors that apply not just to young people, but to all kinds of people facing the hardships of life and give them the ability to “Bounce back”

This was the start of a new and interesting field-RESILIENCY.

Resiliency is the ability to spring back from and successfully adapt to adversity. An increasing body of research from the fields of psychology, psychiatry, and sociology is showing that most people, including young people–can bounce back from risks, stress, crises, and trauma and experience life success.

ective and personally satisfying way to work with and relate to their clients. There are basically six protective conditions associated with resiliency (caring and support, high expectations, meaningful opportunities for involvement, pro-social bonding, clear and consistent boundaries, and "life skills") into counseling relationships so as to encourage the growth of resiliency in. The power of the protective conditions mentioned above is the Heart of this Model.

There is a robust body of research literature in the counseling and therapy fields supporting the importance of "therapist factors" (level of empathy, view of client, etc.) and the therapeutic relationship in promoting positive change.

Counselors need to know about protective factors, and the power of a diagnostic approach that focuses on a more complete picture of the people they counsel. With this knowledge, they can look for individual strengths and environmental protective conditions, nurture them, and try to facilitate their growth in the lives of their clients.

I agree with the wisdom of Dennis Salleebey, D.S.W., who writes in The Strengths Perspective in Social Work Practice (Longman, 1997):

"People are more motivated to change when their strengths are supported," People I have interviewed who have left gangs, recovered from alcohol and other drug addiction, made it successfully through college despite a childhood of abuse, or overcome other significant traumas have told me the same thing. "The people who helped me the most were the ones who told me ‘what is right with you is more powerful than anything that is wrong with you,'" a young man who successfully completed college despite a childhood of living in one foster home after another told me (Henderson, 1991).

This Model of Resiliency training and counseling has indeed helped alot of young people. As evidenced by the life changing experience that brought a new start of hope for the future generation.

(Ive attached two testimonials of successful stories of youth from the Resiliency in action site )

Leslie Krug: "I've Been In So Much Trouble and I'm Still Here"
Leslie Krug went through ninth grade in a traditional high school three times. A lot of her problems, she said, began in sixth grade when her dad died, which "hurt a lot." Though she was sent to counseling, seventh through ninth grade were years of skipping school, drinking, and using drugs. Her message now: "I've been in so much trouble and I'm still here." Today, at age 16, Leslie is back in school and doing well. She was one of two students selected, in fact, by the school staff of the alternative school she now attends to be featured as a "face of resiliency." She is no longer using drugs, and is contemplating a future as a small business owner.

L.W. Schmick: Overcoming and Challenging the Label "At Risk
When L.W. Schmick was in middle school, he realized he was in a class that "was different" from other kids. By his freshman year in high school, he knew that his classes were for "at risk" students. Though he says he "wasn't ever mad at teachers for seeing that and being aware of that," he thinks the label was detrimental to himself and his peers. "Putting an 'at risk' student in a separate class just separates them more. And I think that's what a lot of at risk students are trying not to do [--be more separate]. I think they should be blended in more so they are not put in their own little group, " L.W. explained


References: Henderson, N. (1999). Preface. In N. Henderson, B. Benard, N. Sharp-Light (Eds.), Resiliency in action: Practical ideas for overcoming risks and building strengths in youth, families, & communities. San Diego, CA: Resiliency In Action, Inc.

Confession of A Blogger

Perfectionism is not a quest for the best. It is a pursuit of the worst in ourselves, the part that tells us that nothing we do will ever be good enough that we should try again. -Julia Cameron

I have a confession to make...

Forgive me if I might sound a little blunt in this post, but I just wanted to be honest with you.

Iam a perfectionist.

I can’t help it; Perfectionism is something that I have always struggled with. I always try to avoid mediocrity. It’s either full on or not at all. I think this could also be seen as addictive behavior. I do something a lot or I don’t do it at all. I like learning new things, but I prefer to master something I love to do and be good at doing it, rather than learning a new task through “trial and error”.

You can say I’m a coward in a sense-so to speak.

The good news is I’m not perfect. and I will never be.

Blogging in the past few weeks has taught me the BEST LESSON not only through writing but through my personal life…

Everyweek I noticed, I’m overthinking and overanalyzing what topic to write, and every time I’m done writing it, I’m proofreading it several hundred times (I maybe exaggerating). Some posts will capture those inspired moments and lessons I’ve treasured in life. And others will be average or maybe not even. Some might even have grammatical errors or odd phrases (mind you my primary language is not English). Some might be even boring.

But I guess, it’s all part of me. All I can promise here is PURE HONESTY, which I figured will help me so much along the way. I decided to write, and see what comes out. Not as easy as I would like, but better than I ever have in the past.

I never thought that it would make such an impact in my life and towards self improvement. What’s even more comforting to know is that as I express my views and experiences, I am also learning in the process.

I’ve transformed from a Perfectionist to a Healthy striver.

My message here is to inspire, but it is also based on being realistic. This makes being a perfectionist such a vague and idiotic idea: Achieving the impossible. And, I don’t mean this in the emotional, touchy, Dream Big and Reach for the Stars type of impossible. What I mean is that this is continuously self defeating because you constantly can’t live up to your own unreal expectations type of impossible.

Answer.com dictionary defined perfectionism as a propensity for being displeased with anything that is not perfect or does not meet extremely high standards That’s a risky way to live. You are rarely satisfied, and then more often than not unhappy. Which leads to a lot of failure, discontentment, and hopelessness.

I need to constantly remind myself that it’s okay to screw up, or make a move even if its not the right move. Perfectionism is pathetic. it’s all fear based. It’s a cowardly way to exist.

The only way I know to resist this is to doing it wrong. A lot. The more mistakes I make, the easier it is to realize it’s not the end of the world. I’m not even going to proofread this article. Okay, maybe I’ll proofread it twice or three times, but just not the usual 30 times.Lol

It is such a humble and life changing experience.

So tell me, how about you…Do you any confession to share?

So Your Life Sucks?

I was feeling kind of “BLAH” for the past week after all the hassle and bustle of the toxic exams. So yesterday, I decided to treat myself with some delicious chick-fil-A (Didn’t mean to endorse though, but it’s really good). And it’s been a while since I last had one…

Inside the fast food house, a seemingly exhausted public truck driver entered the door, which caught my attention. He was a big guy, with his forehead and face frowned, playing with his keys and a stick of cigarette, he went immediately in front of the line adjacent to my table.

While waiting for his order, he says in a moderately-sarcastic toned voice: “Eat, drive, eat… then drive again! OH THIS LIFE SUCKS!!!

The food almost burst out from my mouth. I could not help myself to smile and utterly nod on what I’ve just heard. I was thinking at the back of my head; “Poor driver, this man definitely needs a break”.

But on my way home, as the ambiance of lights we’re flashing from the road of 301, and silence taking place. His words suddenly lingered in my head once more…..

I realized that there is truth beyond the humor of his complaining statement.

Many times we feel Fed up with life and we are all trapped.Sometimes we feel we are stuck being who we are. We struggle to change ourselves, but the result has so little effect. We can change what we do, but sometimes we cannot change who we are.

Or think about just how we live every day,

It’s basically the “same old same” isn’t it? You wake up in the morning, eat, school, work, some other things then sleep. And the next day will repeat the same thing all over again. Although this cycle is actually for those “fortunate people”. Others have a routine that’s “purely labor” day and night and a little or no sleep at all. Just like the truck driver I’ve mentioned earlier.

Worse, is when we feel sick and tired of this “rat race”. You struggle with all these problems year after year, and you're getting nowhere, and you wonder if anything will ever change. And the unavoidable reality of it all is that, for you, Life sucks.

The point I want to make is that if you think you’re stuck in this cycle forever, and that your life is not changing, Well you got it all wrong.

The only constant in life is CHANGE. It’s true that our lives are one big cycle with a beginning and endpoint. We are on the journey of endless change. Or what we called the journey of life.
Life is one huge roller coaster with many ups, downs, hoops and loops.

The ups of life, which are those moments of peak happiness, are great and amazing moments. They come inevitably or unexpected and can rarely be forced. I’ve had some days and moments of peak happiness where I can say were the best and unforgettable moments of my life.

On the flipside I’ve also had moments where I felt extremely exhausted bad and just wished the ground would open up underneath me and swallow me up. Those are the downs of life and they also come inevitable and unexpectedly out of the blue.

Take the analogy of life being a journey in an off road vehicle. You don’t know where you are going but you head off in a direction and keep going. Sometimes the road will be perfectly smooth and visible, other times there will be bumps and humps along the road, and you hardly see anything. There will be times when you have a dead-end and need to reverse because otherwise you will drive off a cliff and cause accident. Like wise, according to an inspiring quotation written by Bob Moawd he states that:

The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your
own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift
is yours it is an amazing journey and you alone are responsible for
the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.

Sometimes you will make huge progress in short period of time and sometimes youwill take ages to achieve what very little simple things that matter. Don’t get frustrated when you don’t make progress or when the ride is bumpy and rough, it’s all part of the journey. Embrace it with acceptance and keep moving on.

We are all human and it is good to feel for something we care about.-OUR OWN LIVES.

But, what we don’t realize is that-LIFE IS ALL ABOUT YOU, and how you treat it.

If you criticize it, you are actually criticizing yourself. You like it, you hate it? Well it’s all up to you.

So be careful how you describe it.